Most of the relationships I've formed over the years have been the never-ending kind. Persons and beings other than human have gone on, passed over, heaven knows to what. Yet, in that internal world of mine, they never leave. They are remembered for the things they have taught, for the difference that they've made in my life. To my way of thinking, learning and living is one and the same. True, academic learning is basically a thing of the past for me at this point of my life, but life keeps right on teaching. This time that wonderful event we call Christmas presented the challenge. I received a scanner for Christmas. It is not the scanner I really wanted, but it was a gift. My grandmother would remind me to accept gifts graciously; after all, you can't look a gift horse in the mouth. It's a beautiful scanner. It does a lot that Umax wouldn't or couldn't do. It doesn't really do what I wanted to do. But it comes close to it. My family doctor would laugh at that and say, that's just like being a little bit pregnant.

What I really wanted was a scanner that had the capability of scanning large black and white negatives, like the ones we found in the attic. "Trust me, this one will do any negative you have!" said my son. WRONG!!!!!!!! But it does come close to that. And now I am learning how to scan out negatives; black and white negatives except they're not really black and white, they're Grayscale. Believe me, the only thing black and white in the computer is the proper command. Miss a letter, hit backspace by mistake and whatever you had is gone. Saving is good. Save as much and as often as you like. Because you never know when you might hit BACKSPACE. My teacher, with all the expertise in working with black and white negatives is very patient. I am cloning very nicely. Cloning is part of the Adobe system. The clone tool allows you to eliminate spots black and white, scratches and all kinds of things. You can even improve on the smile in the person's face your cloning. You can make the negative in to a positive by hitting invert. You can make it as large as you like. Clarence would be aghast at the megabytes I can accumulate. Gerry teaches patiently. "Make the image a little bigger," he tells me over the phone. And I do exactly that. However, the plus sign that enlarges the image is dangerously close to the backspace. The image disappears. There is silence on the phone. "Are you still there?" Gerry inquires cautiously. "Oh yes I am; It's just that the picture isn't there anymore!!!!" "How did you do that?" I could tell him that there is a little monster in my machine and that the monster took the picture away. Instead I maintain silence while I desperately try to get the picture back.

The next session is scheduled for Gerry's house. It's easier when I can see what he is doing and hope I can remember everything he teaches me. I learn to crop by arbitrary increments. I straighten out ragged edges. I add a little here and cover up a little there. Still it does not compare favorably with Gerry's work. When he comes over to check on my progress I just smile and say: "Ask me how I'm doing?" Gerry grins. He figures things out very easily. Had I been doing well, I wouldn't have asked. "How are you doing?" "On a scale from A to F, I think I made an F."

We head for the computer. Gerry checks out the results of four hours of work. Then he explains, patiently of course, that my scanner does not allow scanning of large black and white negatives. Amazing, I thought. I tried for four hours to do the impossible. Gerry is a kind and gentle person. He scanned out eight negatives, placed them on a CD and told me to try again. This time I succeeded. Of course the one picture I completed wasn't near as clear as the ones that Gerry produces. But then, Gerry is the teacher. He has mastered the craft and refined it to an art. And I am once again learning. Learning is good. As long as I learn I am alive and as far as I know, living is pretty good as well.

Satisfied with the result of my lesson, I close down all programs and bring up the Solitaire. I need a game to sharpen my mind. In the middle of the game, a strange thing happened. The cards peak to form Mount Everest on the screen and spill all over the monitor, as though someone had willingly upset the game. The mouse no longer co-operates. The little arrow disappears and is lost among the bits and pieces of cards. I experience a momentary pause of panic. I know I am no longer in control of my little world, or am I? There is still one element, one move that is left to me. I get up from my chair and quietly flip the power switch from ON to OFF. It is called CRASHING. I learned that as well. I leave the room and fix myself a cup of tea Then I return to my private little universe and flip the switch once more. I turn on the computer. All systems are responding. Nothing is amiss. I activate the game once more. All is well. I am winning. I don't know why the computer hurled those cards at me. I'm not about to ask. That too I have learned. It is said, by some, that making New-Year's resolutions is an exercise in futility! Maybe, but I will make one. Never mind what can go wrong with a system. Everything in this little universe of mine is totally and completely replaceable. And the things that aren't totally and completely replaceable, are saved on little CDs. Life is good. That too I have learned.