It seems that lately I have had as much, if not more, written conversation with Norton than any other person that blessed me with e-mail. I have friends who are not familiar with the terms "Norton" Symantec" Firewall etc. Some of my friends and acquaintances are a bit hesitant to ask. After all, what else can a firewall be except a firebrick structure; and why would you need that for a computer. I remember only too well my days of wondering how a search engine could fit in that little cubicle referred to as an "office". As for that Norton, is that the one that paired up with Gleason in the Honeymooners?


To say Norton is so utterly impolite. And so I address my grievances to Mr. Norton. At the risk of sounding strictly passe`, I am inclined to believe that a little politeness couldn't hurt in this the 21st century.

I have been told that there are 'Hackers' out there who cheerfully hack away and stifle the pleasure I derive from sending e-mail, receiving e-mail from visiting on the Internet, from doing social things on my personal computer. Hackers spread disasters, small disasters and some not so small disasters. Hackers take an absolute delight in breeding worms and viruses that play havoc with little personal computers. Didn't we just complete a war against a person accused of chemical warfare, in essence, of breeding antisocial, downright unhealthy viruses, chemical ones?

At one time the worms created by hackers seemed little more than annoying, causing computers to die in a fit of fright, overwhelmed by the amount of garbage injected in to fragile memory. Now it is a dangerous game, a way and means game of stealing someone else's privacy, identity and if possible, someone's hard earned cash.

"They're looking for a way to get in to your computer through the back door." This was the information my son told me over the phone when I told him that five of six e-mail carried a virus and that I received two messages from the postmaster telling me that two of the e-mails I had written could not be delivered. Of course I could not have possibly mailed them at the time mentioned because that day the computer and I did not compute.

Break-ins through back doors and front doors of vulnerable persons make up the bulk of Newspapers News. It is well understood that one must be careful at an ATM, at the local bank or wherever one gets and spends hard-earned cash. Now one more hazard has been added. Some pleasure-hungry hacker with a deviant sense of pleasure can end my social security with information gathered through the back door of my computer, and deprive me of what little wealth I may have along with my psychological peace of mind.

When I ask Mr. Norton about that, I still get the response indicating that one of my e-mails is attempting to poison my computer. When I discussed that with Bill Patrick he explained very patiently how to limit the hacker's potential for chaos. There are the addresses that come with every e-mail. According to Bill Patrick, the trick is to eliminate the addresses before I share a touch of humor with a friend.

" If you forward an e-mail by way of Outlook Express, left-click on Forward and that brings up the little envelope with all the information and that seemingly endless list of others who have shared the information. A left-click of the mouse will select information. Keep your hand on the button 'til all the undesired stuff is highlighted. After that simply push Delete on the keyboard and like magic, all that stuff is gone."

Thanks Bill. Of course, I've practiced until there is nothing left to practice on. I can hardly wait for that next batch of e-mail. Highlighting and Deleting is wonderful. Anything possibly capable of spreading a virus goes away the moment I touch Delete. Along with that, every thought of every deviant and smiling hacker leaves my mind and winds up in the trash can as well.

Of course, now, I have a different problem. It's that Modem again. I know that this is a purely technical problem. But the thought occurs somewhere in the deep recesses of my wandering mind. Could it be that the Modem is afraid of being deleted? Could it be possible that my computer has developed a predilection for modems? A touch of cannibalism perhaps? After all this is my third, if not my fourth modem. I am aware of the sober voice of the Guru. After all, a machine is a machine. But thinking of the computer as just a soulless piece of metal is just so terribly impolite and so totally uninspiring. I guess I had better call Clarence. How do you whisper HELP in Computereeze?
E.M.H